Pants 0. Shit 1.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She told me I should be a condom model.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
