Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This toilet bowl is my home.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
