apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
