I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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