She is in my trunk
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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