i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
