Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
