we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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