We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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