Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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