How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
