pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
