he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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