It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
