Your dad touched me again.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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