She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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