Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
