Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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