i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
