we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
