so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
