Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
