Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
