today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
