i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize