you guys were way drunker than both of me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
