Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
