strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
