I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
