remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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