Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
