how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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