If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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