I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
