Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
