She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
