my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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