Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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