So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
