My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
