So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have aggressive nipples.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
