her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
