Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
