David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
