i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
