And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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