I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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