just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
