I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
