Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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