no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
