So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
