Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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